Monday, May 17, 2010

A Heist

So I'm walking home from the bus stop last night enjoying the quiet midnight hum of chainsaws and leafblowers revving in the moonlight. And I had to think to myself:

Why would you rev leaf-blowers and chainsaws in the middle of the city in the middle of the night?

The man with the chainsaw was not cutting any wood, but rather waving his roaring machine towards a pile of flats leaning against a shadowy wall.

The man with the leaf blower could barely find something worthy of his thundering. I saw him chasing a gum wrapper for half a block, beyond which a torrent of trash lay undisturbed before he returned to the corner again to rev his leaf-blower obnoxiously at nothing.

There was a pickup parked nearby with the city's crest emblazoned on the side and a few scattered orange pylons.

Again, I ask why its necessary to wield such obnoxious machinery anywhere near a city neighbourhood in the middle of the night. The only respectable explanation I could come up with was that these healthy young city employees were actually covering for a very noisy sort of robbery, murder or otherwise misdeed: A jewel heist perhaps, or tunnel into a nearby bank vault. Whatever the reason, I know that it couldn't possibly be that this is the hour at which city employees are paid to wave their ineffective power tools around.

G