We at Proroguing Perfection regret to inform you that we can no longer endorse the "Puppy Button" (trademark pending) due to the fact that we can no longer guarantee that no puppies have been harmed by the use of said "Puppy Button" (trademark pending).
A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to test a Puppy Button prototype, and I am disappointed and ashamed to admit that Puppy Buttons are not that good for puppies.
I got to spend one glorious day with one of the cutest and sweetest puppies I have ever had the pleasure to shake-a-paw with. Though I'm not sure that she really ever caught on to what I was trying to do by grabbing her paw constantly.
We spent most of the day walking around in the sun and splashing in fountains, puddles, and quite nearly ended up in a canal. What little time we spent inside were mostly bathroom breaks (for both of us) and naps. By the end of the day we were both pooped.
More so for the puppy. I guess you can take a puppy for too many walks, cause I exhausted that poor thing. Apparently after applying the "No-Puppy Button" (which we still endorse) that sweet innocent creature was suffering nausea and diarrhea. The Official Puppy Button handler (my good friend and animal shelter volunteer) assured me the puppy's sickness wasn't my fault, but I felt guilty for trying to cram a 3 months' worth of puppy-time into one day.
I would have posted this week's ago, if it weren't for the massive weight of puppy-guilt, on top of the crippling shakes of puppy-withdrawal.
Yours,
Management (G)
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