Valentines Day Humbug

Another year, another Valentine's Day. Every year carries with it the same holidays and quasi-holidays. Proper holidays are the days that you get time off to celebrate with loved-ones, and fill up on a good meal or two. Quasi-holidays are the days that are special, but not special enough to get you a day off. A lot of the quasi-holidays are awesome enough that you don't mind celebrating it even though you have to work the next day, St.Patrick's Day, or Halloween for example. These are quasi-holidays that I can really support. I think its really important that humanity be given special days to celebrate drunkenness and sugar-highs just for their own sake. There are of course quasi-holidays that are not celebrations at all, like Remembrance Day, Easter Monday, and Ash Wednesday. Of course, like everything else in the world there are quasi-holidays for elite groups of people. Some I can't argue with, Mother's Day, Father's Day, and Secretary's Day for example. These people work hard and probably deserve some kind of break for their efforts to manage the weak and disorganized portions of society. But Valentine's is the most insidious of the quasi-holidays. And to it I say BAH HUMBUG!

Humbug! To your pink paper hearts and cutesy teddy bears!

For shame! Of your naked cherubim! What kind of sicko decided a small naked boy would be the mascot of this twisted holiday? Not to mention the fact that he is far too young to be allowed access to dangerous weaponry like bows and arrows!

Curses! All ye bearing roses! They will only wither like the beauty of those you bought them for!

Bah! To the crowds that pack into restaurants!

And an evil eye to the couples canoodling in the dark corners of the bars...

G